Unusual (chat with Evans 315)
by scaredofrobots
Summary: Lily Evans Potter isn't in the Christmas Spirit and Sirius will find out why if it is the last thing he does.


Sirius Black was on a mission.

Something was afoot, amiss and simply just not right.

Lily Evans Potter had lost all Christmas cheer. It was December 12th and she was not in her very favourite "13 days until Christmas jumper" which featured all the characters from the 12 Days of Christmas song.

So today, Sirius Black was going to get to the bottom of this- as he always did- with a chat and several bottles of Firewhiskey.

 _The Problem_ was first discovered on November 30th and there was nary a Christmas tree in sight.

It had been an odd year, to be fair, and Sirius had been travelling for much of October and November- so he hadn't exactly been around the Potter household to experience the typical 84 days of Lily Evans Potter Christmas magic.

Therefore, he was a little shocked when he went to pick Lily up from the cottage in Godric's Hollow to find there was no Christmas tree and no porch coated in glitter, garland and bobbles.

He assumed that this was because James was gone for six weeks to train with England for the World Cup and wouldn't be back until Christmas Eve.

"Alright, Evans...I'm sorry- Mrs. Potter?" he asked as she opened the door and let him in.

"You keep saying that like it is funny every time," Lily responded, rolling her eyes. "It was funny once."

"Evans, you wound me," he smiled and was surprised to find Lily was hugging him. "There, there, Evans- I know you've been lonely without your boys."

Sniffing slightly, Lily stated, "You have no idea."

"Well, my lovely Mrs. Prongs- I know what will cheer you up! Let's go get a Christmas tree and decorate the shit out of your house," Sirius said and offered his arm to her.

Lily took it and they went on their way. They spent the day getting the Christmas tree and several decorations.

They transformed the cottage into a winter wonderland and Sirius was glad to see Lily looking slightly full of Christmas cheer. She even joined him in singing _God Rest Ye Merry Hippogriffs_ as they hung garland across the porch. Lily seemed happy but not _**Twenty Six Days Until Christmas!**_ Happy. He decided that she must be missing James too much to really embrace the spirit. It was the first time since they'd gotten together that James was gone for Lily's usual Christmas countdown. Since James was out of town- and Remus was still teaching at Hogwarts- Sirius decided to make it his personal mission to bring the Christmas Cheer back out of Lily Evans Potter.

Sirius woke the next day with a plan. He dug through his old school trunk and found the slightly burned and completely wrinkled copy of the legendary failed Advent calendar. He highlighted the top 24 activities and planned an order of events sure to restore Lily Evans Potter to her usual level of Christmas preparation.

 _The Plan_ was a disaster.

Sirius had tried all of Lily's favorite pre-Christmas activities.

She fell asleep halfway through their caroling trek.

Then during ice skating, she had to stop skating to go vomit.

THEN when they were making Christmas cookies, she burst- inexplicably- into tears. She rushed out of the kitchen crying. When Sirius found her five minutes later, she was asleep in one of James' old quidditch jerseys in their bedroom.

Lily had never really been a codependent person, so Sirius found her consistent moping odd and her lack of Christmas cheer odder, but still, he blamed it on James being gone. Furthermore- she wouldn't fucking talk about what was bugging her, no matter how many ways he asked.

Which is why on December 12 _The Plan_ shifted into _Get Evans Fucking Drunk and Chat About Our Feelings While We Braid Each Other's Fabulous Hair._

Sirius arrived at the cottage at 6pm with four bottles of Firewhiskey. He let himself in, as was his custom, and announced in his loudest lawyer voice, "Alright Evans- It's time to have a chat!"

She popped her head out of the kitchen warily and responded, "I can't- go away Sirius"

Rolling his eyes, Sirius entered the kitchen and sent down the bottles.

"Yes you can. Something is afoot, Evans, and I intend to figure it out," he said.

"Please stop pretending you're Sherlock Holmes," Lily complained.

Sirius uncapped a bottle of Firewhiskey and took a deep drag and then tried passed it to Lily, who didn't reach for it.

"Come on Evans- this is how we solve things," he prompted.

"I can't," Lily said.

"Evans."

"Can't."

"Why?"

"It'll hurt the baby."

"What baby?" Sirius asked.

At this- Lily just stared at him.

Confused, Sirius asked again, "What baby?"

"The baby currently growing inside of my body, Sirius."

Inexplicably, Sirius felt tears prick in his eyes- "There is a baby in there? Your baby? And Prongs? A little Prongs?"

Lily rolled her eyes at this and said, "No it's the milkman's- of course it's mine and James' baby."

"WE'RE HAVING A BABY?!" Sirius asked again, suddenly full of an excitement he couldn't quite describe.

"Well, technically-" Lily started but once she saw the look on Sirius' face, she stopped herself- "Yes- yes we are."

Sirius put down the Firewhiskey bottle and scooped Lily up into a big bear hug exclaiming again, "A baby!"

Laughing fully for the first time in weeks Lily said, "Yes, a baby!"

Suddenly panicked, he set her down, "Did I squeeze you too hard? Did I hurt the baby?"

"No, you prat!" Lily laughed and gave Sirius a soft whack on the shoulder before wiping her tears away.

"Does Prongs know?" Sirius asked.

"No- this is in-person news. So no blabbing!" Lily admonished him as she poked him in the chest

Crossing his heart Sirius said, "Marauders' Honor. Now come on. We've got shopping to do."

And for the first time ever (but certainly not the last)- they abandoned their Firewhiskey mid-chat to take care of the smallest member of their family.

The next twelve days flew by. Telling Sirius about _Little Prongs_ (as he insisted on calling the baby) seemed to unlock Lily's Christmas Spirit again. It also helped that she was finally feeling a little more energetic and now having as much morning sickness- which was, in large part, due to Sirius researching a multitude of potions and vitamins to help her feel more like herself.

They spent a few days turning the spare room into the nursery. Lily had plans to have James open the nursery door when he returned Christmas Eve and for him to see the crib and for that to be his present. This was fifty percent because she she thought it was sweet, and fifty percent because "it's about time I out surprised James on Christmas Eve".

On December 19th, Sirius and Lily had plans to pick Remus up from Kings Cross for his holiday break from "teaching those little snot nosed shits" (as stated in his last letter). Sirius arrived at the cottage at 9 am and knocked on the front door.

When Lily opened it she looked at Sirius incredulously, "What the fuck is that Sirius?"

"Lily- first of all- watch your fucking language. There is a baby present. Second of all- it's a wheelchair. For you. To keep Little Prongs safe."

Lily stared, took a deep breath, and then said in her very best mom voice, "Sirius Black. I am pregnant. I am not an invalid. Women have been having babies for thousands of years. In caves and shit. Not to mention that Evans women have naturally strong baby hips. I believe you listed them on 'reasons why James should marry Evans' in fifth year."

Grumbling, Sirius folded up the wheelchair and transfigured it into an umbrella and told Lily sternly, "You start to feel tired at all- and I'm pushing you around."

"Deal," Lily nodded, "Now am I apparating or shall you?"

"Evans. We are driving. Like muggles. Apparating could be bad for the baby." Sirius scolded.

"You're an idiot Sirius," Lily said and grabbed his hand. Sirius felt the familiar pull as the sneaky red head apparated them to London.

When they arrived, Sirius gave Lily a five minute lecture about endangering Little Prongs and dragged her to St. Mungos to make sure "everything was still alright".

As the healers looked her over, they were barely able to contain their laughter as it was explained to Sirius that "Apparating was fine until the end of the second trimester," and that, "No, Mrs. Potter does not need to be in a wheelchair or on bed rest, the baby is growing just fine."

Sirius pouted for the rest of the day.

When Remus joined them he asked, "What's wrong today, Sirius?"

Sirius responded with a huff, "Ask Evans." When Remus looked to her for the answer, she simply shrugged.

His pouting continued until they reached their favorite muggle diner where they traditionally ate on their _Pick up Remus from Hogwarts days_. Sirius could rarely find a way to be upset when there was a cheeseburger to be consumed and he brightened significantly as they ate their lunch.

That was until the waitress arrived and asked if they were finished.

When Lily handed her plate over with half of a burger and several chips still left on her plate- Sirius instantly scowled.

As the waitress left, Sirius hissed at her, "Evans- you didn't eat enough."

"Yes I did- Sirius- I am full!"

Remus watched the exchange confused until Sirius all but whisper shouted

"What about Little Prongs then? Little Prongs might still be hungry! You're eating for two now!"

"I am quite aware of the baby currently growing inside of me Sirius- I don't you reminding me every minute" Lily rolled her eyes

"Yes well- sometimes I wonder-"

At this Remus politely cleared his throat.

Suddenly remembering he was there, Lily and Sirius stopped what would quickly escalate into a situation.

Clearing his throat again, Remus asked hopefully, "A baby?"

With a rush of tears and sudden movement, Lily moved into the booth with Remus and Sirius.

"Yes, oh Remus, this isn't how I wanted to tell you. Sirius has been like a mother hen and I forgot we hadn't told you. I wanted to tell you and James on Christmas Eve and now I've-"

She stopped as Remus pulled her into a hug, and, through his tears, he said, "That's alright Lily. A baby. We're going to have a baby!"

Pulling away Lily ruffled his hair, "Yes, we are. I haven't told James yet."

Remus dabbed at his eyes and said, "Of course- this is in person news". They embraced again and Sirius interrupted with, "This is all lovely but it still doesn't change that you didn't eat enough, Evans"

"Shuttup you ass," Remus told him, "Lily can eat whatever the fuck she wants and I'm going to get her some ice cream-" and then realizing himself Remus added, "….oh shit- we have to stop cursing now don't we?"

"Like hell we do," Lily responded just as Sirius shouted, "LANGUAGE!"

Remus proved to be the balance Lily and Sirius needed. He kept Sirius from being too much of a mother hen and kept Lily calm when she would start to panic.

The day before James was due back, she was in the midst of such a panic.

"We can't be parents Remus! I can't even bring myself to wash the dishes half the time! I don't even know how to change a wizard diaper! James is going to try to teach a little person to fly! And- and- Sirius called dibs on godfather when we got married and how the hell-"

"BREATHE LILY," Remus told her for the five hundredth time, "A child needs warmth and love and a place to be safe. They'll have that in spades with you and James. Little Prongs will also have two uncles to show him care and get him out of trouble"

Slowly relaxing Lily asked, "Yeah?"

"Until the very end," Remus assured her.

The next morning, Remus and Sirius arrived at the cottage to find Lily in full Christmas Eve tornado mode.

James was due to arrive around dinner time, which meant that Lily was busy cooking a feast and putting up her Christmas Eve decorations. Sirius was relieved to see she was wearing her Christmas Eve jumper- so James wouldn't suspect anything.

After lunch, they retired to the lounge to play cards. James was due to arrive just before dinner so they could make it to the later Christmas pageant. They'd all attended as a family since Lily and James had gotten engaged years before.

Around 3pm- they moved on from muggle card games to exploding snap. Sirius refused to allow Lily to play without some sort of protection for Little Prongs.

"The cards aren't going to explode inside my uterus Sirius!" Lily argued

"First of all- ew- secondly- I am not taking any chances on my godchild. Besides I've been DYING to try this on someone," Sirius argued.

At this, Remus took another sip of wine.

"Fine," Lily huffed, "protect me."

Brandishing his wand with his usual dramatic flair Sirius cast the protection charm.

Lily suddenly found herself inside a bubble.

"Sirius what the FUCK!" Lily tried to get over to him to WHACK him but the charm made her unable to move quickly. Sirius was running from her and slammed into Remus who promptly spilt his wine and dropped his glass. There was so much commotion and noise they didn't hear the front door open.

Lily had Sirius cornered near the fireplace when James' voice cut through the chaos, "What the fuck is going on? Why the hell is Lily in a bubble charm?"

Before anyone could say anything else, Sirius exclaimed, "I was trying to protect the baby!"

Trying to cover Remus said jovially, "You're back early James!"

"They let us out early," James responded, "but….did Sirius say….a baby?"

"I swear to God Sirius take this thing off of me and don't say another word or I will shave your head" Lily hissed.

"You would never!" Sirius gasped

"Padfoot-" James said, trying to remain calm, "What the fuck is happening?"

At this Sirius dropped the charm and gave James a smile, "Welcome home Prongs- good practice? Going to win us the cup?"

Looking to his wife, James asked quietly, "Lily?"

"Welcome home, James," Lily said as she crossed to him and embraced him, "I missed you."

"I missed you too," James said and kissed the top of her head, "can you explain…." and he gestured vaguely.

She grabbed his hands and pulled him up the stairs, "Honestly, I don't know how Sirius kept his mouth shut when you were planning the proposal. I mean I only told him before you because he was trying to get me to drink and that isn't good for the baby and-"

James stopped short, "I ask again? Baby?"

"Fuck- I mean- fiddlesticks- I mean….." with this Lily turned to look him in the eyes.

Lily had thought she'd seen James nervous. When they fought about singing Christmas Carols in October and he approached her in that stupid Santa suit, anytime he walked onto the Quidditch field, and when he had waited for her answer on a Christmas Eve. But now she knew what nervous James really looked like. Terrified, hopeful and with something like joy dangerously bubbling to the surface.

"Yes, James….we're going to have a baby. I found out right after you left but this is-"

"In person news" he finished.

And it was like a dam had broken. The joy bubbled over and James pulled Lily into his arms with a whoop. "I'm going to be a dad!" Their laughter quickly dissolved into kisses and several "I love yous".

Once Lily felt grounded again she pulled him to the spare room and told him, "This is how I wanted to tell you- but the best-laid plans..."

James opened the door slowly and felt overcome with something he couldn't quite define. There sat a crib and a rocking chair. Lily hadn't done any decorating but here was tangible proof that everything was changing and that there would be someone new in their family.

"Do you like it?" Lily whispered, "I wasn't sure on the colour or-"

He turned to her and pulled her into another embrace and blinking back his tears he told her, "I love it, Lily. I love it so much."

From downstairs they heard Sirius shout, "CAN WE COME UP YET?"

"Yes, you mangy mutt!" James yelled back.

The rest of the evening was filled with laughter, tears, hope for the future but mostly family.

It was Lily's best Christmas Eve Yet.


End file.
